Are We Addicted to Drama?

There's been an interesting trend over the last ten or so years, especially with the rise of YouTube and other social media outlets (Twitter (X), Instagram, Rumble, etc.). I see more and more "screen names" that rarely identity an individual. Many on YouTube and X can simply hide behind those screen names which in a sense, allows people to say what they want. There seems to be a problem in River City (sing along now) with what occurs when people don't have to identify who they are. They say behind a screen what they wouldn't dare to someone's face. 

It wasn't until recently when a tragic event occurred in my hometown of Moscow, Idaho, when I noticed this weird trend of people saying some pretty nasty stuff on YouTube and X (Twitter). True crime has come to the forefront, especially in the last ten years with internet sleuths reporting from their sofas. This in turn has caused what I call an "addiction to drama," which was spawned by crime shows such as CSI, First 48, Cold Case Files, etc. 

The crime related TV shows create an expectation within the public concerning how real cases should be conducted. When things don't go the way a sleuth expects, they cry fowl. After all, they saw it on TV and those cases mirror real cases, right!? (cough, cough) This mindset only feeds the addiction to true crime (and/or other topics), which I heard discussed by one forensic specialist on a recent livestream. In general, I've heard concerns by those within the behavioral sciences community that people pay attention to negative reporting more so than positive reporting. I'm guessing that's why we see a lot of negative news!? It's all about the ratings and what brings the network (or YouTube channel) money and clicks. 

Human Behavior

If anything, we're learning that no two people respond the same to a situation. There really is no "normal" way of responding to a circumstance because everyone's life experiences differ. People process trauma very differently, as you'll see in various court trials. Responses might not make sense to our own belief system. Yes, there are "expected" norms but not everyone is going to fit within a tight little box of our perceived expectations. There's a saying that when you assume something, you make an "ass out of u & me." Assumptions can get us into a lot of trouble. 

Our perceptions, mindsets, and personal life experiences translate to words that come out of our mouth. When we speak, we tend to say things that come directly from our subconscience, much to our surprise at times. Our words are a creative force that produce both life and death. 

Life = positive words and actions. 

Death = negative words and actions. 

Sickness = our body's response to negativity as "dis-ease."

When you think and speak from a positive perspective, you'll be healthier. It's the opposite for negatitivy. Behavioral scientists are now discovering this truth, which I talk about a lot in the articles on the Healing Frequencies Music website. 

Why this article? I responded to some YouTube videos concerning the sentencing of the perp in the "Idaho Four" case where four young University of Idaho college students lost their lives to a narcissistic graduate student studying criminology at nearby Washington State University. How people responded to my comments fascinated me. Those comments demonstrated that people are truly addicted to drama and that they can't get enough of it. Hiding behind a sreen name, they say what they want and believe there will be no consequences. 

People came after my town, the university, and those close to the victims since that horrific night in 2022. So much of what was being spoken was as far from the truth as you could get. Because the police weren't giving answers, the rumor mills began. What was directed AT people close to the case was despicable. Sorry if you disagree, but the authorities were protecting the integrity of the case, especially if they expected to find an impartial jury. This wasn't about feeding an addiction - it was about following the laws of justice. 

The Story of the Idaho Four

On November 13, 2022, four college students lives were taken from them in a house just off the University of Idaho campus in Moscow, Idaho. (Mos-cow is pronounced with a long "O" like the "O" at the end of Costco. There's no "cow" in Moscow.) The weapon of choice was a knife and it wasn't until nearly 8 hours after the incident that a call was made to the police, which has both stymied and frustrated many people. They can't seem to understand that after a night of drinking, college students aren't in their best frame of mind. To date, I've never met a smart drunk (or hungover) person. 

Setting the stage... the day before the incident, the last football game of the season was played (on a Saturday). Partying is a normal thing on weekends on most college campuses where drunkenness abounds. Sleeping until noon on Sunday is normal where students wake up with hangovers and foggy details from the night before. How do I know? I saw it every weekend on the U of I campus when I was a house director at a sorority. You could put a clock on it. Every Sunday close to noon, you'd see disheveled sorority girls walking back to their sororities from their "night on the town." To me, this behavior was normal life on a college campus. I didn't live on Greek Row at WSU but I did hear about such escapades from students. 

The perp entered the house around 4:00 AM on the 13th and was there less than 15 minutes. The police were called just before noon on Sunday, November 13. The surviving roommates heard weird noises and one saw a man in the house around 4 AM, which wasn't unusual because people were in and out of that house all the time. Upon waking up in the morning, one resident thought it was a dream. In a hungover stupor, they called police once they realized something was not right. After the police arrived, eventually, a "Vandal Alert" (emergency announcement to students) was sent that had campus and the small town of Moscow up in arms. Students were told to shelter in place while police investigated. 

Normally I would have received a Vandal Alert but I'd recently moved further north after losing my home through the process of eminent domain to the new highway just south of town. By the way, the cell tower the perp's phone pinged on after leaving the scene? That tower is behind where I used to live. There's more I could say about that another time. Anyway... Since I was no longer working for the University of Idaho, I was taken off the their notification list. It wasn't until Monday morning when I kept seeing "Vandal Strong" posts on Facebook that I wondered what was going on. A simple Google search gave me the answer.

Moving ahead to July 2025...

On July 23, 2025, the perp (who pleaded guilty) was sentenced to four consecutive "life in prison" sentences for taking the lives of University of Idaho students Ethan Chapin, Kaylee Goncalves, Xana Kernodle, and Madison Mogen. I'll not go into further details since there's already so much out on the internet obout this case. On the day of sentencing, It appears every major media outlet was in Boise (pronounced Boy-see, NOT Boy-zee). Many true crime sleuths were also in attendance. I understand both the main courtroom and overflow rooms were filled with people. I did watch some family statements and paid special attention to the perp's demeaner and behavior during those comments. I refuse to give him a name so I call him the "perp" with a small case "p." 

I noted throughout this case that the perp's overall behavior appeared vaguely familiar. I paid close attention to the story for a couple of reasons. 1) It was in my home town and, 2) I saw many similarities between the perp and my ex-husband. That entire story takes place in Moscow and I've written about it in the book, But Words Will Never Hurt Me. You can guess by the title what it's about. The second book in the series is titled, Transforming Mindsets, which tells of my nearly 20-year healing journey. I also talk about abuse in general on the Free From Verbal Abuse website.

Back to the story...

Early on in the investigation, especially when the police didn't come out with much information, true crime sleuths, news media outlets, and the general public began to speculate what they THOUGHT had occurred. It's that speculation that caused even more trauma to the surviving roommates and familes of the victims, as we heard in their victim impact statements. The father of one of the victims even received a nasty text DURING the sentencing saying that the perp was innocent and that people were coming after him. Wow... what kind of sicko does that? This is an example of true addiction to drama!

The media frenzy, along with the true crime sleuths created the drama addiction by continually spreading "misinformation" about this case. It only fueled the fire of anger, hate, and frustration toward authories and their process. People couldn't get enough of this case and were never satisfied, even when obvious truths came out. Why? It didn't fit their perceived narrative of how they believed humans should act. Or, it was because they wanted it to be more dramatic. Hiding behind a fake or cheesy screen name, people could say what they wanted, attack anyone, demean others, and cause all sorts of mayhem. 

Have you ever heard the phrase "you reap what you sow?" There is plenty of scientific evidence to show this statement is true which I talk about in articles on the Healing Frequencies Music website. All of the memes in this article refer you to that website. I've discovered through my own research and healing journey that we can literally change our DNA "switches" through what comes out of our mouth! I'm living proof that we get to reap the benefits of our words - both positive and negative.  

This leads me to our next topic...

The Power of Words

The key point here is to explore how being addicted to drama influences what we think which then leads to the words that come out of our mouth. Since I began with what many now call the "Idaho Four" case, we'll proceed to my online comments and responses on a couple of YouTube videos after the sentencing of the perp but only after we look at some definitions...

Addicted to Drama Definition

As I've said earlier, when people are addicted to drama, it's like being addicted to anything else. People simply can't get enough of it. With any addiction, we see negative results when the addiction isn't "fed." I see this in livestream chats on YouTube and on X (formerly Twitter). I've watched a few YouTube channels since the beginning of the Idaho Four case. Some people in the chats say some pretty outlandish things, fight with each other, and "troll" various conversations. Those who use their real names are generally more polite. Those who use screen names tend to be more disrespectful. To me, this appears to give them more license to spew nastiness. 

Merriam-Webster says addiction is "a compulsive, chronic, physiological or psychological need for a habit-forming substance, behavior, or activity having harmful physical, psychological, or social effects and typically causing well-defined symptoms (such as anxiety, irritability, tremors, or nausea) upon withdrawal or abstinence : the state of being addicted." Notice here that behaviors and activities are included. The key to any addiction is what I said earlier - it causes harm in some manner. 

Some YouTube channels are run by true crime sleuths, psychologists, forensic specialists, ex-police and FBI officers (many from the east coast), media personalities, former convicts, etc. I also noticed that when some of these people attended the sentencing in Boise for the perp of the Idaho Four case, some commented on how friendly Boise is, which was something they weren't used to on the east coast. Having lived on the east coast myself, I understand why they noticed Idaho's friendly attitude. You will see why these comments matter further along in this article. Some people think everyone in every town will act in a similar manner.  

I've only paid attention to two true crime cases - the Idaho Four and the Chad and Lori Daybell cases in southern Idaho. Here are a few things I've noticed about YouTube personalities, true crime TV stations, authors, and major news outlets based on their reporting of both cases:

• Many go off available reports rather than visiting a community to gain first-hand knowledge. 
• Those that do go directly to a community don't seem to gather the most relevant information to the case when talking with people. That's my experience with both cases I've followed, including one person who has written a book on the Idaho Four. 
• I didn't know until recently that this thing called "Crime Con" even existed! People by the thousands gather to learn about true crime once a year where they hear from experts, victims, and reporters. Who knew!?
• YouTube channel hosts rarely talk with people from the communities where tragedies occur. Instead, they bring in what they call "experts in the field" to discuss their theories. Much information is often based on hearsay and/or previous case experience. Although this information has value, some easy questions could be answered by talking with locals. I.E., the whole issue with why the surviving students waited until noon to call the police or why there are 18 missing minutes when the perp left the scene of the crime until he turned his phone back on. 
• People in the communities got very tired of being pestered by the media, as we saw in both Moscow and Boise. Judge Hippler even spoke about the Ada County court officials being harrassed and the media's desire to speculate and spread misinformation in many hearings. 
• People have expectations for how people SHOULD behave and when they respond from an opposite expectation, it's generally deemed as suspicious behavior. The main example brought up the most is the surviving roommates waiting until noon to call police in the Idaho Four case.  

Out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks. Pay attention to what people say and do to understand who they really are. When actions don't line up with words, something is amiss. As an example, it angered many when the Moscow police (after the sentencing of the perp) refused to speculate as to motive and who was the target in the Idaho Four case. Police officers can only speak to the evidence. I hand kudos down to the Moscow Police Department and the Idaho State Police representatives who spoke at the press conference immediately following the sentencing. Many tried to trap them with questions that required speculation but they didn't take the bait. 

The role of speculation and possibilities lies with the behavioral science professionals and forensic specialists who are trained (better than police) to figure out the small details, which we didn't get to see in this case because of the perp's plea deal. Many specialists were interviewed over the past 2.5 years and have some plausible theories. More details will come out as materials are released and specialists study the case. In the meantime, let's be patient! 

My Moscow History

I'm from Moscow and lived there most of my life. I taught at the University of Idaho, Washington State University, Whitworth University in Spokane, and in the Moscow Public Schools. For nearly 20 years, I lived on campus as a house director in a sorority or, when I wasn't being a house director, I cooked at a fraternity and cleaned bathrooms for another sorority. 

At Washington State University, I also cooked and cleaned bathrooms and assisted with summer repairs in at least two sororities. Therefore, I understand the Greek community quite well. As a house director, I saw a lot of stuff and fully understood the inner workings of the Greek system on the U of I campus. In addition, I used to own a mobile espresso business and delivered coffee drinks to the Latah County Courthouse for several years, three times a week. I got to know the staff in the various offices, including some judges and court officials. I can still tell you what drinks people ordered.

My family has been in Moscow since my great-grandfather came to teach at the University of Idaho in 1919 as one of the first professors in the plant science department. I believe that I know the community well, even though I live further north after I lost my home to the highway project. I'm still very much in touch with the Moscow community through friends. Therefore, I do believe I can speak to the "tone" of Moscow and the state of Idaho more so than many of those on YouTube who have never even stepped foot in our state.

When you read a book or watch a documentary, you only get what that author or producer wants you to see. It's all based on personal perception and what story they wish to portray. The best knowledge requires reporters to build relationships with the locals if you want to truly understand a community. Kudos to a couple within the YouTube true crime sleuth community that were able to foster positive relationships with victim's families and locals with the Idaho Four case!

Now, moving along to my examples where I show drama addiction at work...

Example #1

This first example comes from a YouTuber I watch frequently. After he did a recap of the sentencing, I thanked him for commenting on how friendly Boise was. This YouTuber is a former investigator and has responsible guests on his channel:

My comment: "My family has been in Moscow since 1919 with five generations having been part of the University of Idaho. I lived on Linda Lane as a student and knew about the "party house." At one time, I worked in the Greek system so yes, even though I don't know anyone involved, I understand how people feel and have responded to this case. News of the m****rs spread like wildfire after people began posting "Vandal Strong" on Facebook. We are a friendly state and have not appreciated the rudeness of some media outlets. Thank you for not being one of those."

Response comment by user ecidnac333: "Yet you know so much generational issues within the toxic college....as all small college towns have that had led to so much scrutiny. Willing to be honest? Or just pretend people are different than everywhere else?"

My further response to ecidnac333: "wow... that's an interesting response. It has nothing to do with anything I said, including inferring that I'm hiding something!? The U of I is not a toxic college so I'm not sure who gave you that memo. Go Vandals!" 

NOTE: ecidnac333 used the term ALL SMALL college towns, assuming that ALL are toxic and that I'm pretending the University of Idaho is different. 

Example #2

I commented on a YouTube channel's synopsis of the Idaho Four case by a major news outlet from the east coast. They discussed how such a horrific crime could happen in a community that was deemed safe. The reporter was standing in front of the Latah County Courthouse during her segment. She talked about Bill Thompson, the Latah County Prosecutor, and lead attorney in this case. 

My original comment: "I spent many days over a period of years in that courthouse delivering espresso drinks to the employees throughout the building. Moscow is a great community and Bill Thompson is a kind man."

Response from user whartonite to my comment: "Of course you would say that because you work in the same town. Everybody agrees what Bill Thompson is. Even the law enforcement agents."

My response to whartonite: "interesting comment. "EVERYBODY agrees what Bill Thompson is?" Do you know people who know Bill Thompson? Have you spoken to any of them? If not, you're only speaking what you've heard. If you do know him, you're entitled to your opinion as much as I am mine. Have a beautiful day."

NOTE: I do not have a personal YouTube channel. My comments are made through the Healing Frequencies Music YouTube channel. 

My assessment on the two channel user's behavior:

• Both users had screen names that clearly do not identify them. One user has 10 subscribers and the other, only 1 at the time of this writing. 
• Neither had coherent comments that related to anything I said. They came at me based on THEIR personal expectations that everyone will act and respond a certain way and that all towns are the same, especially college towns. I can safely say that's NOT true because I've attended and worked in many universities across the USA.
• Both comments told me these two people are addicted to drama and simply want to stir the pot, which is what any addiction will do. The comments were negative and meant to attack my position. Notice the negative theme here? 
• Neither person responded to my answer. Others liked my original comment and my responses to the nastiness of these two YouTube users. 
• I use their real screen names to prove my point - they can't be identified and appear to be hiding behind weird names as they attack others. 

Conclusion

Being addicted to drama is like any other addiction: it has harmful consequences. I've known people who are addicted to extreme sports because of the adrenaline rush they get from participating. An addiction is simply that - being compelled to do something that gratifies you in some manner. When you can't participate in the activity, there are negative responses in the psyche and eventually in the body. The negative responses are often anxiety, frustration, fear, anger, or any of their negative cuddle buddies.

It seems as though negative responses are the key to an addiction vs an activity that leads to a positive response. Addictions never have positive results. When looking at an addiction to drama within the true crime community, many come up with interesting theories because they have to keep moving forward with something. When people don't agree with those theories, they fly off the handle with nasty comments in the various chats. I saw similar reactions on Twitter (now X) during the presidential election. In the political arena, things are pretty gross and nasty right now. Again, people with weird screen names seem to say the worst stuff.

At some point, we need to call a spade a spade and stop putting up with this poor addictive behavior. Yes, we have the right to say what we want in the USA but I ask the question... does what you say help or hurt you? People don't realize there are consequences to icky words and actions. However, the eventual outcome may settle as illness or "dis-ease" in the body and people don't even realize their body is responding to the negativity they foster on a daily basis. If we want to live healthy and happy lives, we must watch what comes out of our mouth. If we focus constantly on negative stinking thinking, we're going to reap the very ugliness of what we verbally vomit on others.  

If you're sick and tired of being sick and tired, take an inventory of what comes out of your mouth.

When we choose to foster an attitude of gratitude, things begin to look better. How do I know? I've been there, done that, bought the T-shirt, and wore it. I speak from experience. When you've lived a life of trauma, it's possible to be an overcomer. However, it takes consistent practice and perseverance to transform mindsets to think a different way. As EMDR therapists often say, we eventually "notice" the trauma but it doesn't continue to cause damage to our psyche. The question remains... will you choose to live a life of positivity or negativity? 

Thanks for taking time to read this article,

Del